What’s New?

Just over a year after my ex-husband left, I had the first milestone event with my former family. It was my nephew’s wedding. It would be a huge understatement if I told you seeing some of the family that day was awkward.

One interaction from that night stands out. It was with my ex-husband’s cousin who said, “So, Tami, what’s new?” I thought about it for a moment and responded, “Everything, absolutely everything.” And it was so true. Nothing about my life was the same as before; even beyond the obvious – being divorced.

People who were a part of your married life that you no longer see very often may not know how to start the conversation regarding your divorce. Don’t be angry. It’s human nature to be curious. Don’t be afraid to talk about it, either. And definitely don’t be ashamed about what’s happened. Answer them honestly, even cheerfully. Maybe give them reassurances that you are doing fine and trying to move forward.

At first, I always thought people were asking how I was handling the situation because they had ulterior motives, or they were spying on me for my ex. Later, I realized most of them were genuinely concerned and wanted to make sure I was OK. Like I’ve mentioned before, this whole divorce thing can make you a little paranoid sometimes.

Even though talking about the situation might be annoying or awkward, it’s inevitable. Especially if there are a lot of people who were used to seeing you as a couple. I’m nearly 5 years post-divorce, and there are still people who ask me how my ex-husband is doing! Dammit – I really should have dropped my married name.

I’ve actually been asked “What really happened?” by some brave souls.

To them I reply, “The short version – his girlfriends. The long version? Well, that is available in paperback and will cost you a mere $15, plus shipping on Amazon.”