Help! I need a Mechanic!


March, 2018

All Things Tami
Divorce Insights

I always fancied myself a capable woman when the mechanical things around me broke down. I might not have been the best cook or housekeeper when I was married, but when it came to building, repairing and restoring, I was all over it.

My dad is a retired contractor so I know just enough about construction, plumbing and electrical stuff to be slightly dangerous. Usually, between me and my trusty friend, The Internet, I can figure out how to fix things. Unless it involves my truck or anything else with a motor. Then I know enough (or had enough mishaps to know) that I need to call the professionals. And Team Tami has a very reliable Auto Shop at the ready.

My sister and I kid that our dad didn’t have any sons so we got stuck receiving much of the knowledge he would have bestowed on his boys. And we think that is why both of us are tomboys to this day. Fortunately, he taught us the basics of home maintenance so we’d know how to fix a toilet or keep the heat on if the furnace stopped working. He even taught us a little about cars. He made sure we knew enough to get a broken down car back on track so we wouldn’t be stuck on the side of the road. Ah, life before cell phones and AAA Roadside Assistance. How did we manage?

When I got married, I naturally thought since I had a man around, he’d handle those things. Is that a learned behavior, especially for women my age? That the men should handle home and auto repairs? I’m not sure where I picked that up – but it happened.

And I’m not sure why I expected him to know cars any better than I did. When we first started dating, I was the one who changed the oil in my car all by myself. He knew as much about cars as I knew about cooking, which was close to nothing.

Still, I let him take on the traditional male role and much of what I had learned from my father vanished in the 23 years I was with my ex-husband. Shame on me for letting that happen. Now I’m relearning many of the standard things my dad taught me. Basic plumbing, furnace repair (yeah, change that filter often, ladies), operating power tools and other small machines, and even some car repair.


“Repair what I know I can fix with confidence, and leave the rest up to the professionals.”

Now that I am on my own, I need to remember to repair what I know I can fix with confidence, and leave the rest up to the professionals. Or see if Dad can help.

And because cars have changed so much, I don’t even change the oil in my truck anymore – everything truck related gets done by my friends at the Auto Shop.

In fact, later today I’ll be dropping Old Hoss off at that shop – yes my truck has a name – and see if they can keep him running smoothly for a few more years, as I really need him to hang on until I can afford a car payment again.

Maybe I do indeed need a Sugar Daddy instead of a mechanic – as brand new trucks require a lot less maintenance.

But for now, Old Hoss and I will keep on cruisin’ for as long as the mechanic can keep us running.


A Little Tact, Please

Hey, we all disagree from time to time. But since this is my little universe, I reserve the right to remove comments that are mean-spirited or contain verbal violence. Divorce discussion can get passionate and that's okay. But let's keep it classy and help one another instead of hurting one another.  For full details on how things work here, see Rules of the Game.