Welcome the New Year



All Things Tami
Divorce Insights

Now is the time of year when we take out our little notebooks and start jotting down all the things we vow to do differently in the new year. And judging by some of our New Year’s Resolutions, we’re fat, disorganized, poor and downright unhappy with our current selves. So how about this year we stop making resolutions for the coming year, and instead make a list of things we want to let go of from the past?

After my divorce, I started a new tradition for New Year’s Eve. It’s built upon the Bitter Box concept outlined in Becoming Unmarried. My Bitter Box is a little box where I keep small scraps of paper on which I have written down things that bother me or make me angry – things I need to let go. During my divorce, that little box got full quite quickly, and when it did, I took my Bitter Box outside with a little burning pot. I read what I had written on those scrapes of paper, put them in the burning pot and ceremoniously set them on fire. It was my way of cleansing those negative thoughts and watching them them go up in smoke.

I do the same thing on New Year’s Eve. On small scraps of paper, I write down the things I want to let go of in my life and I burn them as the clock strikes midnight and we usher in the new year. My Bitter Box and the New Year’s Eve burnings, have cleared the way for me to discover who I am in my post-divorce world. Once i got rid of the negativity and doubt, I was able to do great things – like becoming a writer and helping other women navigate their divorces.

“This year… resolve to discover you”

Let’s stop being so hard on ourselves at the end of every passing year. If you are one of those people who must make New Year’s Resolutions, this year resolve to discover you.

Let go of what’s been keeping you from moving forward – write those things on little scrap pieces of paper and set them on fire on New Year’s Eve. Safely, of course!

Clear the way for new and happy adventures – not just in the new year, but in your future! Great things will happen once you let go of what keeps you stuck in an unhappy situation.

Mid-January will be the 4th anniversary of my finalized divorce. I have yet to write my ex-hsband’s name on my New Year’s Eve scraps of paper. Maybe this is the year I finally let go.

Happy New Year!


A Little Tact, Please

Hey, we all disagree from time to time. But since this is my little universe, I reserve the right to remove comments that are mean-spirited or contain verbal violence. Divorce discussion can get passionate and that's okay. But let's keep it classy and help one another instead of hurting one another.  For full details on how things work here, see Rules of the Game.